i miss ...

Thursday, May 28, 2009

.: Explosion in the head :.

Lots of doubts

Starts to wonder a lot!

__- LOVEdeprived -__
|7:50 AM|

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

.: xxx :.

Have a real nice chat with Baby after back from Tantric, 2weeks is short though but so much things happens.
And the guppy that baby bought abt 3 weeks ago gave birth, we have aprox 50 Guppies in total now!!!
And i got more and more dolls from Baby!!!!!!

Anyway stil cant get to sleep again till now and Baby is sleeping like a pig!
Drank quite a lot last nite too, sufferred a bit of hang over now :(

~For last nite~
So happy to see all of you at Tantric, sorry to keep you guys worry abt me again!

*For my dearest Wendy Cousin*

Last night, I couldn't give u a real nice birthday celebration like the year before and instead i bring you tears.

hmmm.........

No matter what, be strong for me alright?
And i definitely gonna be real strong for myself, don't forget
CINDY GINN NAH PAH BUAY TOH!!!
*lol* thats wat u always say!

So promise me to be strong ok!
Happy Belated Birthday once again.
Love my Cousin, my dear Sis always :)

****************************
Dior plans to cut her hair real short, any style suggestion?

__- LOVEdeprived -__
|1:40 PM|

Monday, May 25, 2009

.: The Poisoned Apple :.

As i promised i will be back real soon, and YES!

CINDY DIOR
IS BACK FOR
TWO WEEKS!!!

Ok! Lots of things happened while i'm warded in IMH for this 2weeks.
Right after the next morning of admission i fainted, YES FAINTED!!!
So was put on drips and send to CGH for 3 days, blood and urine taken, brain scan, body x-ray and lots of jabs *left hand traumatised!* and same old problem, my Anemia never fails to give mi shit! And new shit was diagnosed, my gastric! Ok, seems like another big problem and was advised to do a scope for further investigation.
Yucks! They gonna put a scope soon from my throat down to gastric for scan!!! *Sian half*

Ok, back to IMH!
This time was totally different experience from the past 2 admission.
I couldn't explained the feel, the emotion.
But i learned a lot, really alot.

..........
..........
..........

Too much thoughts in mind and cant sort out, shall end here la!!!

*Traffic jammed up in my head*

So Daddy and Mummy is bringing me out to Pasir Ris Park for a run now.
And we gonna have Botak John for dinner with Qi *Yeah*

__- LOVEdeprived -__
|6:38 PM|

Monday, May 11, 2009

.: Kiss goodbye! :.

So little time and yet so much to do :(

*Thurs 7th May*

My bro (Qi) graduated,
Attended his graduation!!!
Congratz :P
Anyway he posted out to CANTOMENT!!!!!!!!!!!
The place i really hate :(

Ok, 2 boys fainted at the parade!

My 2 bros!

*Sat 8th May*

Back to Pulau Ubin for family dinner ;P
Early Mother's day celebration, and Vesak Day which is my daddy's birthday too!

My grandparents

My Ah ma, cute boh?! lol

My alcoholic mama!

Is Vesak day! Big celebration at Pulau Ubin

*Sat 9th May*

I bought this (Sambuca) all time favourite at $55!
Damn cheap!!! Club cost $180 for lower grade product can!!!

And we call the celebration for my 1 year xxx anniversary!!!

Steamboat at Hong Hu! *Shiok*

20 plus people having dinner together, so fun!!!
Appreciated all of you, thanks for coming =)

FORGET TO TAKE PICS TOGETHER!!! zZZzzZZz

Here's some random pics i have

And headed to Play!

Party like a rockstar ~wooooooot~

SURPRISE!!!!!
Baby club with me at PLAY!!!

Daddy daddy!

The Ju-on twins

My lovely cousin

And the silly boy who always let people bully!

(More pics to upload if i can make it on time to grab it from my dear angel)

Damn high siol!

Kena sabo!!!

Everything comes in multi shots!

Serving with all time favourite "Sambuca" whole nite long.

Accompany with double shots Waterfall from ALVIN KINO with extra Sambuca added too!

Followed by "Frustration" consist of 10 spirit in just 1 drink, thanks to my beloved sis WILSON YEO, u really make mi frustrated!!!

Then once again my this dear sis wouldn't let mi of so easily, here come another Absence!!!

And once again comes another Waterfall again from the manager!!!

What else did i drink???

I did puke, but i'm not drunk!

Wahahaha!

U guys failed ur sabotage plan!

I'm OVER_POWERED!!!

*Sun 10th May*

Baby accompany me to my Family dinner at Tampines, nice dinner! *Yummy*

AND for now...........

Hhmmpphh Hhhmmmphh......

Few more hours left, so much things left undone.

BUT!!!

CINDY DIOR

WILL BE BACK!!!

REAL SOON!

***MUACKX***

__- LOVEdeprived -__
|12:58 AM|

Thursday, May 07, 2009

.: 4 days more... :.

Have been sleeping alot, day and night, sleep and sleep....
This make baby complain alot!!!
But only sleep can shut down my mind!!! :(

Just finished reading "Yakuza Moon" Memoirs of a gangster's daughter-Shoko Tendo.
Nothing fancy about the story but i found part of my life resemble her's!

Right now, i really start to doubt alot about myself, do i really have split personality.
The conclusion comes from my 2 dear boys.
My real bf- Khim and my bf in name- Alvin Kino !!!
2 days ago whereby they 2 had a conversation about me and seems like TESTED AND PROVEN something is not right up in my head!!!

I couldn't explain how come or why, but all i know is the things they mention i did before is totally not in my memory!!!
STRESS STRESS STRESS!!!
NBCCB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAVE I LOST MY MIND???

__- LOVEdeprived -__
|9:45 AM|

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

.: 6 days away :.

OFFICIALLY COUNTDOWN

6 days away to enter another phrase of life.

I called it the "repayment"

Like i say nothing is free in this world, everything you gain, there is a price to pay.

For my this experience, i not only gain enjoyment, money and fame, i also learnt that who are the real friends in my life, and who are the unreliable one, who are the betrayer.
For so much things i had learnt, of cox the price of paying it back is great too.

After this incident i truely realise how naive am i, and the most stupid thing is that im too soft-hearted and never take precaution or rather i could say i believe people words easily. Is my own mistake for being such a silly for everything and no one are to blame.

BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!

To the betrayer, backstabber or whoever, no worries....
I won't come for revenge, i will simply forgive though i may not forget.
All i can say is watch out your KARMA!

Feeling "Girl Interrupted" once again, dealing with psychiatrist diag-nonsense in 6 days time!

Pray hard and wish me luck everyone!

__- LOVEdeprived -__
|11:56 AM|

.: Where is the strong mi? :.

For the pass 1year, every month there will 1 time when i bring stress to everyone.
In few hours time, that will be the day of this month.
When i bring pain and sadness to my loves one.

In my parents eyes, from young as a kid, among my siblings, im the most independant one and they never have to worry about me, i live by myself, survive on my own and will give the best to them whenever i could, but it turns out that i become their biggest worry.

To every one i'm real strong when coping with difficulties, i face the facts and the consequences bravely, but i became weak when i see sadness in those who loves mi, i bring unhappiness to them, it makes my heartache.

And for the pass 1 year, im so ready to face the consequences for the mistake i had made, but today, i had a different feeling, something seems like holding mi back, make mi cant bear to leave, i hate this feeling, really hate it.

Y? Y like that!!!

My heart and brain cant coordinate now.
My brain so wanted to put everything behind and face the facts but my heart is playing tricks on mi.

*HELP!!!*

__- LOVEdeprived -__
|3:54 AM|

Sunday, May 03, 2009

.: Almost forget where i belong... :.

Back to Ubin yesterday, there was a big event going on at our temple, there is buffet and lots of other food like roast duck, chicken, pig too. Is really crowded.Ritual ceremony was performed and puppet show too.

This is frequent, happens few times a years.
Here is where i grew up, when i was a kid, all this event is just like part of my life but now everything seems so unfamiliar to me. Seems like i'm drifting so far apart from all this.

All my relatives were there too, Is a practice that everyone of us in the family have to go back when there are event like this, and seems like i had been absent for long for most of the time.

Looking at my cousins and while trying to flash back my teenage life, it makes me think a lot.
Am i too rebellious during my teenage or they are just too innocent? lol

__- LOVEdeprived -__
|4:12 PM|

Friday, May 01, 2009

.: Nuffnang pay me! :.

Have been gaming non-stop, hooked on Shaiya Online and blogging very little recently.
Till today just log-in to Nuffnang and realise they start paying me money :)

*Clap Clap*

So drop by here whenever you can!!!
Top viewer will be bless by Goddess Dior! ~lol~

Ok... time for gaming!

K lurh byez!

__- LOVEdeprived -__
|7:08 AM|